


Expect the unexpected

by FredAndGeorgeForever



Series: Torchwood Bingo Fest 2020 [6]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anniversary, Children, Date Night, F/M, Fpreg, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Missing Persons, Mpreg, Past Lives, Post Mpreg, Pregnant, doctors orders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26421265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FredAndGeorgeForever/pseuds/FredAndGeorgeForever
Summary: "Please look, don't tell anyone. When you're done, text or call me I don't care. But I need to go change and go pick Ianto up, I can’t fuck this up, not on our anniversary!" He said before disappearing up the stairs and down his manhole into his bunker where he changed with the speed of light and was gone before Owen could even begin to analyse the blood.(A/N:  Even if you don't like mpreg, this story might be worth a try)
Relationships: Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato
Series: Torchwood Bingo Fest 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891957
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39
Collections: Torchwood Fan Fests: Bingo Fest 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the Torchwood Bingo Fest 2020
> 
> I'm once again going to say it, THIS ESCALATED!

"One day I'll be pregnant again. One day I'll have a kid from my partner and me. And our kid will have the best of us. Preferably my cheekbones."

He'd once said in his own time. Back when he was still called Javic Piotr Thane. The first time he'd been pregnant it had been planned. He'd known when it would happen, planned it out in the hospital and made his friends very happy. His then best friends had been having trouble with getting pregnant. It hadn't been until they found out that a pregnancy for her was very dangerous and for him next to impossible - because of his job - that he'd proposed to carry their baby - and of course be their sperm donor. And alas they'd found out shortly before -during the endless tests that his male friend had to do - that her partner was indeed sterile. It had been an act of kindness, but one thing he hadn't expected was to care about the baby. To actually think of keeping the little boy himself. With pain in his heart, he'd given little Jonas to his parents and was forced to watch him grow up with other people. It had been the beginning of the end of their friendship. Up until he'd finally decided to join the time agency he'd been the cool uncle. The worst thing about that was that he had to pretend like he didn't feel like sweeping his son away every time he set eyes on the boy. His heart had clenched when he ripped himself away from Jonas and said goodbye to his friends. A new life would await him. But never had he been able to forget the little boy who had stolen his heart. Because he still was and always would be, his son.

Now decades later he was thinking about that time again. Thinking about the fatherly love he'd felt. And the chances of fatherhood that had been taken away from him. 

It was date night and he and Ianto were going to celebrate their five year anniversary. Three years full of angst, love, joy and Torchwood. There hadn't been a day since he met the younger man that he'd regretted his decision of ever taking a step further in their relationship. Or more like starting a relationship as what they'd been doing was more along the lines of friends with benefits until he mustered up the courage to finally ask the Welshman out on a proper date. Ianto was currently at their apartment getting himself ready, while he was still at the hub finishing his papers. Tosh had been giving him the stink eye for quite a while now - ever since Ianto went home to change - and Gwen had been grumbling about men, in general, all day, something must've happened between her and Rhys he figured. Owen had been especially quiet, he'd been dying to get him aside for a few minutes and discuss some private matters with him. But someone else had always been closeby when he finally found a free moment. The night off had meant that someone else had to take over for the night and none of the others had been especially joyous to take over the responsibility. In the end, Owen had agreed to do so, but not without a fight.

With a sigh, he finally closed the folder - after having signed all the necessary documents - and put it on the pile for Ianto to file tomorrow. After a quick look out of his window, he noticed that Owen was finally alone, Gwen's jacket was missing - so she probably went home - but all Tosh's things were still there, so he had to be quick. Faster than normal he made his way down the steps towards Owen's dissecting place. The Englishman turned around on his chair to face him when he'd heard the incoming steps.

"I need you to check something." He quickly said and started rolling up his left sleeve. Owen looked perplexed as Jack sat down on the cold table and waited for the dead man to catch up. Without asking Owen took out a needle and began to fill a tube full of the red liquid. Some tape was put over the cotton - to keep it in place - after he could stop putting pressure on the wound. He always asked himself if it wasn't just easier to put a band-aid on the tiny wound instead of cotton with tape, cheaper too.

Owen held the tube full of blood in his hand and awaited Jack's explanation. 

" I need you to look at the HCG hormone level in my blood. It's important and please don't laugh." He exclaimed seriously. There was nothing to laugh about this whole situation. If he was correct, and secretly he really hoped he was. Then a tiny Ianto was currently living in his body. It probably wouldn't be bigger than a pea by this time, but he still believed it would be a tiny mix of him and Ianto in there.

"Please look, don't tell anyone. When you're done, text or call me I don't care. But I need to go change and go pick Ianto up, I can’t fuck this up, not on our anniversary!" He said before disappearing up the stairs and down his manhole into his bunker where he changed with the speed of light and was gone before Owen could even begin to analyse the blood.

He had probably passed the speed limit on his way to their apartment, but he didn’t really care. He could wave the Torchwood flag if the police ever nagged about it. Before he knew it he was stopping in front of their apartment building and he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Ianto - irritatingly - standing at the parking lot - tapping his foot in frustration - while he waited for him in the freezing cold.

‘’Ianto?’’ He asked carefully before he went any further. 

‘’You were supposed to be here 30 minutes ago Jack!’’ Ianto angrily told him, sidestepped him and went to sit down in the car.

‘’ I’m sorry Ianto, I can explain really.’’ 

‘’Just… don’t. Let's just get to the restaurant, we’re already late.’’ He could see how Ianto was trying to reign in his anger. How he tried not to be mad at something which had happened far too many times already. But he could also see how he failed, epically. He lay his right hand on the younger man’s knee. Squeezing it, he made sure that there were no hard feelings between them.

‘’Hey, I’m really sorry. I’ll explain it to you later. Now let's just enjoy our night out. It’s our anniversary for god's sake.’’ He said and laughed at how comical it actually was. This whole situation actually. He just hoped Ianto would believe him when the time came.

\--0O0--

Luckily the restaurant owner wasn't too fussy and let them enjoy their brilliant evening.

Jack wasn't really feeling like it, but he obviously tried to keep his spirits up and make it a fun night, for both of them. During dessert Ianto finally decided to ask what had been bothering him during dinner.

" What's wrong Jack?" He asked just before he took a bite of his creme brulee. Like they always did, he held out his spoon full of the heavenly dessert, Jack gladly took it and licked his lips. His eyes darted quickly to the last bit, so - like almost every time - he pushed it towards his partner. Jack always liked the desserts he picked better than his own, so more than once a week he would switch with the captain.

"Hmm, nothing," Jack exclaimed through a mouth full of dessert. 

" Jack, come on. I can see your thoughts are someplace else." He put his hand on Jack's - which had been lying on top of the table - and squeezed it reassuringly. His eyes were full of love and concern while he watched the immortal man. Surely there had to be something going on in that head of his.

" Yeah, sorry. I've just been feeling a little off today." He told him after he'd pushed away the empty cup which had once been full of creme brulee. He wanted to tell him, but not here and not before he was sure.

" Is that why you were late?" He asked softly. He could feel people's eyes in his back, like every time they went, but for once he didn't care. There would always be people who had something against others who loved someone of the same sex.

" Yes, partly." He answered.

"Bu-"

"Ianto, is that you?" A woman from behind him asked. Ianto turned around and was shocked to see his ex-girlfriend standing behind him. He'd been so young when they had a thing together. Back when he was young, stupid and very inexperienced. 

"Hey, Nina. How're you doing?" He asked after the initial shock had washed over. He'd never thought he would ever see her again after the last time they met and she declared to want nothing to do with him anymore. It had broken his heart.

"I'm…. better. It's been a while though. How've you been?" She stood there awkwardly so - like a true gentleman - he stood up and offered her his chair. There was too much history. Too much pain. He looked at the woman he'd once loved with all his heart and could only see all the pain he'd been through after they finally broke up. He could still remember how he'd thrown his whole life around for this one stupid mistake. But he'd been so… ecstatic when he found out the first time.

" I'm good. Been through a lot of wretched things through time, but… I'm good. Or well, as good as I can get." From the corner of his eye, he could see Jack interestingly watching the pair of them converse.

"Sorry, Nina, this is my partner Jack. Jack this is Nina, my…"

"Ex-girlfriend." She finished for him. He'd wanted to say something else, wanted to tell him the truth about what had happened between them, but that would come later. If ever.

" Nice to meet you, Nina." Jack held out his hand and politely shook hers.

"Likewise." She answered with a smile. 

" So how's life been for you? Ever found someone else?" He tried not to sound like a jealous ex, but he was fairly sure he failed. He sent an apologetic smile at Jack, as he sure as hell knew something was wrong. Truth was, he never really dealt with the loss, with the pain he'd experienced. He'd just packed his stuff and moved to London as soon as he could. And from there on his life had moved on and his memories had been firmly locked away in a secret drawer.

" Yes, Eric, he's over there." She pointed towards where a man was sitting alone at a table and waved at him. Politely he waved back and went back to his phone.

" He's a real sweetheart. We have a little baby boy at home, mam is looking after him at the moment." Her smile faltered for a moment as she looked up at Ianto. It didn't need saying. He knew what she was thinking of.

\--0O0--

Only a few minutes had passed before Nina went back to her husband and Ianto decided he had enough heartbreak for one night. Quickly he requested the check from the waiter and paid for their meal while Jack went to collect their car. He knew the questions would start as soon as he closed the car door. As soon as they made their way home. He was far from ready but he knew that the time had come to come clean about that particular part of his life. One of the parts which he really didn't want to remember anymore, but at the same time cherished so much.

" Okay, what's going on in that thick skull of yours? What happened between you and Nina? She seems like such a sweet girl." Jack said he had one eye on the road and the other on Ianto. He was really glad that Jack had decided to not drive like a maniac today. At least he didn't have to silently pray to make it out alive this time.

"You really don't want to know the truth. And when I say it I mean it." He added as an afterthought. He knew Jack wouldn't agree with this answer but he could try.

" I want to, Ianto. Otherwise, I wouldn't ask. I want to know everything about you good and bad. You know I'll be here for you no matter what." Jack exclaimed. He couldn't hold it against the older man, to want to know it. He'd asked him - about as much of his past as he could tell - too and eventually Jack had told him stories of how life in the 51st century had been. How stunningly beautiful the sky had been, but how dangerous venturing outside had been.

" We were about to become parents to a little baby boy, Gareth, we named him. I was only 18 at the time. I was so… happy about becoming a Tad after the shock had left my system. My Tad had been less pleased." He watched out of the window, hearing the silent tap tap tap from the rain clattering against the windows and on the roof.

"Then what happened?" He asked. Tears started to leak from his eyes as he thought back about that deceiving and very unfair day.

" 8 months in, she started having contractions. There wasn't anything wrong with that the doctors said. We were in the hospital and from one moment to another the heartbeat dropped. Everyone panicked, I could see that the doctors tried to keep calm, but I could also see that they knew nothing was to be done about it. Gareth…. Was stillborn. I… I held his dead body wrapped in a sky blue cloth while I cried. We buried him together with our families. But it was only the start of the end. After that, things escalated. We broke up, she said she couldn't stand looking at me without seeing his face. She left to travel around the world and I went to London and started working for Torchwood. That's it." He exclaimed. Quickly he wiped away the tears that had fallen down his cheeks and tried to contain himself. Tried to not let his emotions show.

" Hey, it's okay. That's terrible, but if you ever want to talk to me about it, it doesn't matter when just say so. I'll be there for you." He could feel Jack's hand squeezing his thigh while he tried to blink away the last remaining tears.

"Shit, weevil! Can we never have a semi-normal night out?" Jack cursed while he drove after the disappearing weevil. It wasn't wearing their blue Torchwood uniform, it was stark naked. So that had to mean it was only a baby. These weevils were mating like rabbits.

A ringing sounded through the car and for just a moment Ianto thought it was his phone, but after having checked he found out that it was Jack's. 

" Aren't you going to take that?" He asked intrigued.

"No, I'll call back later," Jack said and took a sharp swing to the right. If it hadn't been for the seatbelts they would've flown through the window.

"Jack, look out." He yelled a bit louder than would've been necessary. Jack's phone rang again and this time Ianto was about to take it before Jack swatted his hand away and abruptly stopped.

" I'll get it later. You get the nets, I'll go after the weevil." He said and disappeared out of the car. While he was running after the weevil Jack finally gave in and took out his phone when it rang for the third time. The immortal answered the phone and switched it over to his earpiece.

"Finally, I've been trying to get ahold of you all evening. " Owen told him irritatingly. He tried to keep himself from rolling his eyes while he tried to spot the runaway weevil.

" Oi, I know what you're doing, stop those eyes from rolling and listen to me." Came from the other end of the line. To be honest he really wanted to push the disconnect button and just go on with his mission. The sooner this was over the sooner he could celebrate his night out with Ianto. He still had some nice things in store for the Welshman.

" I'm listening, be quick though, I'm trying to catch a weevil. " He told his friend in one breath. Be gone weevil, be gone. He secretly thought, he really didn't want to do this tonight.

" Alright, I checked your blood, for about ten times. But every time the same result comes out. I hope you're ready, because ready or not you're going to be a father." The words that he'd imagined Owen would tell him just became the cold harsh truth. He was pregnant. For real this time. And he was out here chasing a weevil. It had only taken a few seconds but it had been enough to get him off guard. The weevil he'd been trying to find lashed out and it's monstrous sharp claws managed to make a bleeding hole in his arm.

" I'm sorry Owen, I'm kinda busy right now." He yelled through the earpiece and tried to fight the weevil off him and not getting killed at the same moment.

" Jack Harkness! You need to listen right now! You are pregnant! Up the duff! You have a bun in the oven! You're carrying a cuddly little bundle! How many more ways do you want me to say it? You need to be careful and out of the field as soon as possible. And don't get killed!" Owen demanded of him.

" Tell that to the weevil who's currently trying to bite off my throat!" He screamed through the air. Just in time Ianto came to his rescue and batted the weevil off his body with the nearest stick he could find.

" For Christ's sake Jack. Don't do that to me again!" Ianto exclaimed while he sprayed the weevil with a heavy dose of anti-weevil spray.

" For old times sake. My knight in shining armor." He joked and looked at his body for any visible injuries. He would've been so close to death. So close to a miscarriage. Because if he'd died, then so would the baby. 

"Jack you can't just go sauntering off and die on me here," Ianto told him angrily after having checked if the weevil was out.

" It doesn't happen much, but for once I agree with teaboy," Owen told him through the line. He'd forgotten Owen was still there listening along.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Let's get this weevil to the hub before he wakes up. Do you hear that Owen? Oh and get a uniform ready, Janet's going to get a newborn guest." He declared through his earpiece. 

" You were talking to Owen?" Ianto asked confused while they were carrying the weevil towards the car.


	2. Chapter 2

They made it towards the hub in one piece as soon as possible. He'd disconnected the comlink as soon as he could. The drive back was silent and awkward, so he was glad when they parked and readied the weevil for his life in the cells. Janet was going to have a blast. He on the other hand was going to experience some roasting. During the time that Ianto placed the new weevil, baptised Jared, in the cell next to Janet, Owen took him apart and dragged him towards the medical bay as soon as he could.

" You have some explaining to do Jack fucking Harkness." He grumbled, put Jack down on the medical table, and got out his ultrasound equipment. His eyebrows raised into his hairline as he didn't even know they had that kind of equipment.

" What do I need to explain? It's as you said, I'm pregnant." He said. Owen, having Collected everything he needed, moved towards him.

"Off,'' he said waving with the ultrasound wand at his shirt.

"And yes, you have a lot to explain. Because how in the world did you get pregnant?" He carefully opened up his shirt, button for button, and threw it beside him on the table. He knew what needed to be done next so he opened up his pants and lowered them a bit before he lay down.

" Well just like women do, you have sex. How else?" He responded. He lay his arms next to his body while he waited for Owen to do what he thought was necessary.

"Also, it's very normal in my time. Everyone can get pregnant." He added while he thought about how many men he'd seen pregnant in his time. If he was sure, and he liked to believe he was, then there had actually been more male than female pregnancies.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget. Of course, this is all normal for you." The sarcasm was dripping from his mates voice while he pushed the wand on his abdomen. Where there had once been nothing there were now vague lines seen on the screen. A tiny picture could be seen that melted his heart. It was still too small to actually see it properly, but he could see where the child was growing right now.

‘’I wasn’t trained for this.’’ Owen breathed when he saw the confirmation.

"Hey Owen, do you think w-" He could hear Ianto say until he suddenly stopped talking. His footsteps halted and a quick look showed that Ianto was looking at them with a mix of shock and awe.

"Is this what I think it is?" Ianto asked - now definitely in a state of shock - while he carefully made his way down the stairs.

"Jack! You didn't tell him?" Owen asked during his exam. These days he could always count on Owen and Ianto to root for one another.

" Did you really think I had time for that?" He asked of the dead man who was still trying to find something with his magic wand. Ianto stood perplexed next to the pair of them, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"Ianto! Breathe!" Owen exclaimed when he saw how Ianto had stopped breathing properly. He could think of a couple of reasons why his breathing had gone to the verge of panic. One of them, finding out your male partner is pregnant. Again.

"I'm to become a Tad, again?" He whispered, barely audible for others to hear.

" How… how did you know?" Jack asked, perplexed. He knew it was pretty dumb to ask, but he hadn't really thought it through.

"I'M TO BECOME A TAD AGAIN?!??!? JACK! EXPLAIN!" The shock had upped itself quicker than he'd expected. And he definitely hadn't been ready to explain anything to Ianto when he barely knew anything himself.

"Oi, backtrack that a bit yeah! What do you mean again? Do you have a bunch of kids stowed away somewhere?" Owen interrupted. If looks could kill Owen would just have died, again.

"Not now Owen!" He warned his friend. When Ianto was like this, you shouldn't disturb him.

" Uhm, well you know how I said I would never get pregnant again? Oh, wait you weren't there. Uhm… long story short in my time men can get pregnant. It's normal." He sheepishly tried to explain. In his eyes, there was nothing wrong with it. The most normal thing in the world actually. But he could see why that wasn't the case for them. For all the other people on planet earth, male pregnancy was rather odd, something out of fiction. Ianto's face was watching his every move for a while before he exploded.

"You said it was safe! You..you.." Ianto said. The shock had probably finally become too much. The ultrasound wand clattered to the ground as Owen reacted quickly and was just in time to catch his lover before his limp body hit the ground.

"Ianto!?" He yelled out and practically jumped off the steel table. That had been another thing he totally hadn't expected. Ianto had always been so good at dealing with their shit. But once it would become too much.

"No, you fucking don't!" Owen cursed after he carefully laid Ianto's unconscious body down in the cold hard ground. Time stood still while he waited for Ianto to wake up. It felt like hours before Ianto's eyes began to move behind his eyelids. He'd moved the younger man's head on his lap while he waited, just like Ianto did when he died. With a trembling hand, he reached out towards his lover. His fingers carded through Ianto’s hair in a soothing motion. Then slid his hand down towards Ianto’s face, his smooth, soft face and cupped the Welshman’s cheek. It wasn’t long before his eyes opened and looked up at him with distress.

‘’Hey, are you alright?’’ He asked, his hand cupping the younger man’s face and checking it out for any injuries. He nodded to Owen, silently asking him to look after Ianto.

‘’Alright teaboy, follow the light,’’ Owen said and started shining a light in Ianto’s eyes. He did as he was told and followed the light with his bright blue eyes. Eyes he could disappear in for hours on end. He watched how Owen used all his doctor tricks up his sleeve to see if Ianto really was as alright as he was claiming to be. Before he knew it, Ianto was already sitting up, a bit dizzy, but at least no concussion.

‘’Okay, let me get this straight. You’re pregnant.’’ Ianto said. His hands were covering his face, but his eyes were peeking through his fingers with glazed eyes, watching the empty void in front of him.

‘’Yes.’’ Was his simple answer. He could deal with this. He could do this, but right now he was very certain Ianto needed more time to come to terms with this whole ordeal.

‘’Okay… Okay, I can deal with that.’’ Ianto eventually started to mumble. It still felt like he wasn’t truly present, but Ianto quickly stood up and was watching him with that stoic look of his. Owen, who had been peculiarly quiet, started to quietly back away from the room until his shins hit the stairs and then turned around and fled from the medbay as soon as he could. Some things he really didn’t want to see.

‘’Ianto, are you sure you’re alright?’’ Jack asked. He took a few steps closer but as soon as he took the step Ianto took one backwards. 

‘’Ianto?’’ 

‘’I’m sorry Jack, It’s just a lot to take in. I’m going home.’’ Ianto said and disappeared from the room. He was once again left alone. Alone with his poisonous thoughts.

‘’Why did this have to happen? Why tonight of all nights?’’ He groaned and sat down on Owen’s spinny chair with a poof.

‘’Do you want some company?’’ Owen had come back after the - not so - dramatic exit of Ianto. He had a sheepish smile on his face and he could tell he wasn’t really comfortable. But sometimes your friends needed you.

\--0O0--

Anxiety, it's a pretty fucked up thing. One moment you're happy the next your anxiety has taken over and your good mood just flew out of the window. One moment you think things can't get worse, the next they just have.

It would be so easy to give in, so easy to reach for the bottle of vodka he knew was standing in the cupboard above the sink. So easy to give in to the numbness he knew he would be feeling when he was drunk. His head ached while he was sitting on the couch, their couch, and watched the empty void in front of him. If only he could reach that state of… forgetfulness.

He could still remember the good times, the times when he thought he finally found someone, something to live for. But at times like these, the bad memories used to take over. They crept into your mind and surprised you. 

"You marvellous man." He could hear Jack say in his mind.

"I'm not, really I'm not." He'd whispered back. He had no idea why this memory - of so many years ago - penetrated his mind right now. But he knew it wouldn't be the only one.

" Ianto Jones, you have no idea what you're doing to me. Really, if only you knew." The last part Jack had whispered into his ear after they lay spent on their bed. Jack was spooning him and he could feel his warmth radiating off of him.

"Jack, do you ever wonder why you're still alive?" He didn't know why. He didn't know why his mind had thought of that question, he didn't know why his mind was thinking about these kinds of things when he'd just been recovering from his high. The sex had been amazing.

"Yes, all the time. Why do you ask?" He could feel Jack's dick between his arse cheeks and his mind was distracted for a bit. But there was no escaping. 

" I should've been dead. Years ago, I should've died." He wanted to see Jack. Wanted to watch his unending blue eyes. So he turned around to watch his lover, worry was etched on his face. 

" When?" Jack's crooked voice said. He'd just pulled a 180 on their mood.

" The fall of Canary wharf. They came for me. They almost caught me, almost converted me. They…"

" Hey, it's okay. You survived, you're here. And I l-" he could still remember perfectly how he'd missed Jack that year like there was no tomorrow. He'd been so scared back then, but he didn't let it show. He wasn't weak. No, he needed to show them that he was just as strong as they were. He didn't know if he'd fooled them, but they sure as hell didn't think he was as innocent as they'd thought back when he just joined them. Just as soon as the memory had resurfaced it disappeared and in its place came a moment back in time which he'd rather not wanted to remember.

"Son… Ianto… Ianto come on, we need to get home." He was sitting at the freshly dug grave. Watching the earth and the flowers on top of where he knew his son was buried in his little coffin. Too small, too young, too everything. He couldn't even say hello, he couldn't even smile at how cute he seemed. Couldn't even experience the pink cloud feeling almost all the new parents experienced. He could feel his mam's hand on his shoulder when she sat down on the cold ground next to him. His face was a mess and the tears hadn't stopped streaming down his face all day. He was too young to become a parent, he knew that, but it didn't matter to him. It didn't matter how his future would've been spoiled, how his life would've taken a different turn that he'd always thought it would go. He just wanted to hold his son in his arms and smile, feel his warm feet and let him suck on his little pinkie. He wanted it all. But just as soon as it started, it ended. Now he was gone, on to a better place. And he was left behind, broken beyond measures. People who had claimed he was to become a Tad were now telling how he was too young to lose his child.

"Yan…" even though he couldn't remember much of that day, he could remember how they'd left him alone. How they went home and checked on him a few hours later. Sometime in the night, he woke up in his childhood bedroom, cold and tired. Someone brought him home, he had an idea who, but he didn't want to know the truth. He wanted his son. He wanted…. He wanted…

He didn't know what he wanted anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours later Jack came home from the hub. Owen had reassured him that he would take over the night shift. They would talk later about the… situation, he'd promised. He just wanted to be near Ianto. Hold him. Love him. Cry with him. He found the younger man sprawled out on the couch. His eyes were closed and he was mumbling something under his breath. His feet were kicking against the cushion propped up against the other side. 

"Oh, Ianto." He whispered into the night air. There was no one left to hear him, so why he whispered was a mystery even to himself. Quietly he took step for step and ended up kneeling in front of the couch. His hand, which had a mind of its own these days, carded - once again - through his unconscious lover's hair. Ianto Jones, his extraordinary partner. Without even knowing that he was doing it, his free hand travelled towards his abdomen where - as just was confirmed - grew a mini version of them. 

" I do love you. I've never done otherwise." He whispered as to not disturb Ianto in his slumber. Ianto really didn't sleep enough these days. Carefully he took the Welshman in his arms and stood up straight. Ianto still didn't weigh enough. Just like there were days when he couldn't bear to eat anything because the food tasted like blood. Silently, so Ianto wouldn't wake up, he carried him towards their bedroom. He laid Ianto down on the soft mattress and covered him with a blanket.

A kiss on top of his forehead was the last thing he did before he basically threw off his clothes and joined the Welshman in bed. He held his partner during the nightmares, held him while sleep wouldn't come. He watched when Ianto woke up thrashing and screaming, kept telling him sussing words to calm him down. 

\--0O0--

As expected Ianto came in the next day with bags under his eyes. The girls wanted to ask what had happened but Owen quickly averted their attention to something else. He knew this wasn't the right moment. Jack and Ianto separated during their work, not having said a word to each other after the revelation the night before. Owen, as the team doctor, had a duty of asking after his patients, or more like asking how his friends and teammates were doing. Because when they were in the field they couldn't let some private matter distract them. During lunch, he walked towards the archives where he knew he would be able to find Ianto. Teaboy hadn't eaten all day as he'd heard from Jack. So he took some sandwiches and freshly made tea with him. Because tea was one of the only hot drinks he'd been able to make around here. Somehow only Ianto could work his coffee magic on the coffeemaker. The younger Welshman was currently and probably desperately trying to fill out some paperwork from what he could see in the doorpost. Even though he was dead and so couldn't eat, drink or experience the pleasures of sex, he still thought his teammates should. They deserved to live a life even though he was cursed to never live a normal life again. In some way, they were all cursed just by working for Torchwood. A normal life was never going to happen, but then again normal could be so boring.

"Ianto mate, how are you?" He asked and made his way towards the young man's desk. Ianto looked up shocked. He'd been so immersed in whatever he was doing or thinking, as he hadn't seen the pencil move for quite a few minutes, that the entrance of someone else had completely taken him by surprise.

"Owen…" he just said. He took the liberty to take the only other empty seat and sat down in front of Ianto. He put the plate of food and the muck of tea down on the table and Ianto was just in time to save his precious files from being crushed beneath them.

"I thought you'd be hungry." He exclaimed and watched how his friend was trying to avert his eyes, was trying to close himself off from him. His paler than normal face could've confused him for a ghost. 

"I'm not hungry." He said pushing the plate away from him. The table wasn't that big, but he still managed to push them far enough away so they weren't close enough under his face.

" Ianto, you need to eat. We're worried about you."

" You aren't worried, Jack just told you what to say." His troubled face met Owen's worried one. 

"Ianto! We are, we love you, of course, we'd be worried about you. Jack's terrified, he would never say it aloud of course, but I can see he is. He's really stressed out right now. And that isn't good for the baby. He's anxious that y-" he started but was rudely interrupted by Ianto, who's mood hadn't improved ever since he woke up. Sometimes, even though he'd never really gotten along with him, he worried for him. Ianto had already been through so many horrors in his short life that it had left his stamp behind.

" I'm not! I just need some time and peace to..to…"

" Ianto, tell me honestly, how's the medication going? Are you even taking them? What about alcohol?'' he went full-on doctor mode as he could see something was wrong with his friend. Something more than just the shocking news of last night.

" I do. I used to forget them sometimes. But I take them every day, just like you prescribed. And I rarely drink any alcohol. I wanted to last night, I really wanted to, but I didn't. I stopped the urge from becoming true. I just need some time." That was all Ianto said before shooing him out of the archives with a plea to be left alone. Maybe he should think about upping the dose of his anti-depression medication, but first, he wanted to see what would happen to Jack and Ianto. Maybe it was just the shock. Maybe it was just the impact of the situation. Or maybe it was all things combined. All he knew, for now, was that his friend, his boss needed some help with his situation and his partner wasn't making it any better for him.

\--0O0--

Sometimes Ianto wished he was invisible. Sometimes he just wanted to be like everyone else. Not being part of a secret organisation or knowing things about extraterrestrial worlds or even the future. Sometimes he just wanted to be Ianto. Nothing else, just a normal bloke on his way to work. Living together with his partner and having a possibility of sharing a future together for as long as they both should live. It was difficult watching Jack, knowing his partner had seen the marvels of the universe, do things humans of his time couldn't and could live forever. It was more the last part that bothered him than everything else. It hurt to know that he was never going to be that one person Jack loved with all his heart. There would always be others, he knew that he knew Jack. It was cruel to ask of him to never be with someone else while Jack had an eternity In front of him and he had only for as long as the job didn't kill him. He'd been lucky before, the Cybermen, the Daleks, the cannibals, the 456 and so on and so forth. Every time they faced an alien meant every day could be his death day. Every day he could lose something or someone he loved so dearly. He knew, as one of the best, that life isn't fair. But he could do nothing about it. He couldn't call the doctor and change time. Changing his past would mean changing his future.

And now, on top of all the problems he was already facing in his daily life, Jack announced he was pregnant. That a - tiny - baby was growing In his male partner's abdomen. If he were, to be honest with himself, he was ecstatic. He was exhilarated beyond measures. But the fear crept up in his mind and made him think about the terrible things he'd experienced the first time. It made him want to crawl into a ball and lay under a blanket. Protecting himself from the world. But he knew he couldn't do that. He knew he had to face his horrors and talk to Jack. Jack, the man who had made him feel like he was more than just the team's butler. More than someone easily replaceable, like he'd felt when he was working for Yvonne. People cared about his well-being, they cared If he lived or died. They were his friends and Jack… Jack had grown to be so much more than just a casual shag. He loved the immortal man with an immense passion. He knew that Jack had told him time and time again that yes, he did love him. But sometimes, when the anxiety took over his happy thoughts, he couldn't help but question the immortal.

"A baby." He murmured to himself after he was left alone with a plate of sandwiches and the now cold tea. He would get some coffee later when he made his round. Sheepishly he took one of the sandwiches in his hand and began to nibble on the crust. At least his stomach would be satisfied with it, even though he could almost taste the blood.

It finally dawned on him. A baby. He was going to be a Tad again. Only he never really stopped being a Tad. In his heart and mind, he was still the father of the little boy who had died in his mother's belly. It wasn't something you stopped being, even when you repressed the memories of that time. He knew he needed to do something. Mostly that something was talking with Jack. But after their separation, he didn't know how to fix the things that were never voiced. Didn't know how to talk to him without telling a lie. 

\--0O0--

With a gift bag in his hand, Ianto made his way back into the hub. His spontaneous idea made him leave the hub In a rush. He hadn't told anyone about what he was going to do. He wanted it to be a surprise. After he'd finally come to terms with how his life had yet again changed in a matter of seconds, how life had thrown a curveball at him. He'd needed something to convince Jack of his honesty. To make him believe the words he was planning to say. The gift was wrapped up perfectly in gift paper and as an added bonus he'd put it in a gift bag, just because he could. If this child was going to survive to see the light of day, he was going to spoil it forever. Well, maybe that wasn't such a good idea, but at least he was going to do his best to give the child the best future as he possibly could give. He knocked on the closed door of Jack's office, all the while he could feel the eyes of his mates burning In his back. Through the glass, he could see that Jack didn't even look up when he yelled for whoever stood on the other side of the door to come in. Not a good sign. Slowly he walked in, careful not to let the gift bag be the first thing Jack would notice and closed the door behind him. He put the bag on the couch and walked towards the blinds that would provide them with some much-needed privacy.

"Jack…" he tried, but Jack was too immersed in the file In front of him. A closer look showed him that it had something to do with the Queen. So it was easy to figure out a call would come soon afterwards. He silently prayed to the heavens that things wouldn't escalate as he tried his luck and kissed the older man hard on the mouth. Now he knew for sure that his attention was away from the queen and her weekly calls.

‘’Ianto…’’ Jack moaned through their kiss. It had begun to get a little bit heated as he sat down on Jack’s lap and could feel both of their hardening erections straining against their zippers, ready to get some attention.

‘’Not that I don’t love this, but what is going on?’’ Jack breathed after they came up for some much-needed air. His eyes looked sorrowful up at him.

‘’I’m sorry about before. I really am. It was just a bit much all of a sudden.’’ He apologized. He knew that he couldn’t talk right the way he’d acted, but he could at least try to make amends. They were better than this. They had already survived so much worse, so naturally, they would survive this. Or at least he hoped so. One day Jack would say enough is enough and leave him, he was pretty sure of it. So he just tried to enjoy it while it lasted.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. I dropped quite the bomb on you yesterday." Jack said, his sympathy was flooding his senses. 

"I know I've said it too many times already, but I just needed some time to come to terms with it. It just hit pretty hard home, you know after Gareth. I have something for you by the way." He added as an afterthought and stood up from Jack's lap to walk towards the couch where he'd left the gift bag. The small bag dangled from his fingers while he sheepishly took a few steps closer to his lover.

"What's this?" Jack asked when he sat down on top of the corner of the desk. The bag stood on top of Jack's legs waiting to be opened up.

"Open up and you'll find out." Jack's big, manly hands pried open the bag and got out a wee wrapped package. Confused he started to quickly unwrap it. Ianto could see the exact moment when shock took over the immortal man’s body. He could see a lonely tear in the badass guy’s eye when he held up his present.

"A baby romper?" He asked, even though he could exactly see what it was he was holding. His hands were holding one single baby romper, the top was white and the bottom was green, right in the middle stood a proud red Welsh dragon spitting fire. 

"Yes, when I was thinking I thought well it takes two to dance the tango, so I should take my responsibility and so should you. And if you still want me, I'd love to do that together." His hand went to Jack's face, where he stroked his thumb across the immortal’s cheek. A smile crossed his lips as he thought about what could be. But his mind kept telling him that it might end as it had with Gareth once more.

"You know you don't have to! It's okay to say you don't wan-"

" I want to, I've said so already. I really want to. I only never thought I would get the chance again. You know, just before the Cybermen attacked, Lisa told me she was pregnant. I was so happy for all of three hours until things started to turn to shit. That's why I wanted to save her so badly. I wanted to keep my child alive. But I knew somewhere deep down that even if I managed to save Lisa, the child wouldn't have survived it." Jack, not knowing what to say to make Ianto better, decided to distract him for a moment. He laid the baby romper on his belly and abdomen. 

"Baby's first romper. Soon he or she will be out of here and keeping us from our sleep."' Ianto, knowing that he could use this against him, took out his mobile and took a few pictures of him. 

"I'm so going to keep this." For a moment he thought about sending it towards Rhi. After the 456 fiasco their bond had only grown stronger and he visited his - the only blood-related family he had left - as much as he could. He strived to go at least once a week, but work sometimes prevented that. They'd even met Jack - officially this time - Rhiannon hadn't even been stressed about meeting the man he loved. All she cared about was his happiness and he loved her so much for that. How was he going to explain this to her?

"Hey we're going to do this, we can do it!" He could see how keen Jack was about the whole ordeal. Still, there was something Jack wasn't telling him. Something he kept secret from him and the team.

"You're winging this aren't you?"

" Kind off yeah, I never thought this day would come… again." It shocked him to hear those words leave his lover’s lips. Before Alice he'd never thought Jack to be a father, never mind a grandfather. But right now, it was more like he was talking about something else, someone else.

"How do you mean? I know we always used to joke about you getting pregnant, but I never thought you meant it for real.

"Come here, let me tell you about my family, Ianto Jones." Ianto sat down on Jack's lap as soon as he took out the tin box, where he always stored the pictures of his long life. Of the people he loved, lost and wanted to remember. One day his picture would be added to the collection, he knew that. He just didn't want to think about that just yet. He wanted to celebrate life for however long his eternity was going to be. And even though it would be cruel to ask Jack, he just wanted his partner to remember him. Would remember how he was and imagine how they could've been. Out of the tin box, Jack produced an old and worn picture of a young bright laughing boy, who looked just like him. His shining blue eyes stared into his soul, he could just feel a smile forming on his lips when - for the first time - he saw with how much love Jack was staring at the picture.

" This is my son. My beautiful baby boy."


	4. Chapter 4

The air was cold, and the grass was damp. It had been such a long time since he'd been here, many things had changed since his last visit. Many graves had been added during the years and the trees that had once been dwarfish beings were now towering out above him. The flowers in his hand dangled past his body while he tried to find the way. He knew for sure that it was somewhere closeby. He could still remember how he'd seen the forest towering out behind the graves. The pebbles beneath his shoes crunched with every step he took. He wanted to flee, wanted to go away from this place. But he knew he had to face the truth, he knew he had to visit his little boy.

Jessica, Loren, Masha, Nikki, Seran, Sarah. All names of children lost too soon. When he finally found the grave, it was all he could do to not break down. It was all he could do to not fall down on his knees and start sobbing. Carefully he laid the white roses down on the stone. The flowers of purity, innocence, youthfulness, eternal loyalty and everlasting love. His first ever teddy bear had gone with him in the coffin. The teddy he'd never been able to use, never to hug, never to suck on and never to lose again. He hadn't been to the grave since the funeral, so he'd never actually seen the finished gravestone. It was beautiful but so heartbreaking. 

_ Gareth Carwyn Jones _

_ A life lost too soon. _

_ We will miss you, with all our heart.  _

_ Forever to be thought about, _

_ Forever to be missed and lost. _

He and Nina had made up the text that day. They'd mourned their son in different ways, but their hearts would always remember the time when everything seemed perfect.

He leaned back on his heels and divided his weight so he wouldn't fall, his knees almost touching the ground while his hands lay flat on the grey stone under which - miles under the earth - lay his son.

"Hi, Gareth. It's been a while, I hope you're not mad. Life's been pretty tough for me. There isn't an inch of me these days that doesn't hurt in some way, but I manage to make it through the day every day since. I've met some amazing friends. Found someone who I love with all my heart. Some days I think I might fall apart from all the fear, from all those memories. But then there's Jack, he comes in sweeping with his long coat and makes me feel better. I think I've finally found someone who might understand the traumas that keep spooking through my head. I can fall apart in front of his eyes and he won't care about all the scars, because you’re not your fears he always tells me, I’m so much more than that. He would take me in his arms and let me cry, let me be me and try to calm me, to make me feel better. A better person I can't ask for. He's not perfect, nobody is. But he damn well comes near to it in my eyes. If it wasn't for Torchwood, if it wasn't for Jack, wasn't for my friends, then I don't think I would've survived all the horrors I've faced these past years. We all need someone. And even though I haven't been here since the day I fled, you haven't left my heart for one moment. I miss you." A sob wreaked through his body while he talked to his son. The emotions, everything was just too much.

"But that's not all I wanted to tell you, so much has happened these past years. I like to think you've watched over me like my guardian angel. Let's start with the most recent change in my life. There's something I wanted to tell you, you're going to be a big brother again. I know Nina has had another child, but now it's my turn. My partner, well, he's pregnant. I know, it's weird. But the world is so much stranger, so much more beautiful than you'll ever know, trust me." He wiped away some of the tears that had fallen down. They'd slowly dripped down his face and splashed on the gravestone beneath him. A comforting hand landed on his shoulder and made him look up. Jack was standing behind him, a mournful expression on his face as he watched his lover break down.

"This is Jack," he said, directing his words towards his son.

"He's the man I was just talking about." Jack's protruding belly had been growing over the past few months. It didn't really look like he was pregnant yet, it looked more like he was getting fat, so it was okay to go outside during the day. No one would find it weird. Carefully Jack kneeled down and sat next to him. The immortal’s arm draped around his shoulder and gave him the strength to continue.

"Things are going to change so drastically. Soon your little brother or sister will be in this world, kicking and screaming for our attention. If only I could've done the same thing with you." A phone started ringing, he looked and watched Jack pluck his phone out of his coat.

"Sorry, I have to take this." He said, sheepishly, he stood up and walked towards the trees to talk in privacy.

" I'll join you in a minute." He yelled after his lover. He stayed silent for a while, trying to think about the perfect thing to say. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that there was no perfect way to say what he wanted to.

"No matter how many times I voiced it out loud, the pain of your absence doesn't get any less. The only thing I can do, Is keep remembering you. And I'll promise, I promise that I'll introduce your sibling to you once he or she is born. I promise I'll tell him or her about you." He told the empty space in front of him. In his mind, his baby boy was sitting in front of him, watching his every move while he talked about his life, while he talked little more than nonsense to him. It felt comforting to imagine there was a heaven, to imagine him living someplace among the clouds, even though that was the work of fiction. Jack - and even Owen - once told them that after death there was nothing more than a dark and empty void. Nothing special and really no heaven. But still, he couldn't help but hope for the opposite.

"I'm not sure what to say. I could tell you about these past years but that would take forever. I could tell you bit by bit though, every time I come visit you. Because I should've done that far sooner. I should've grown a pair of balls and come visit you as much as I could. It shouldn't have taken another child and Jack constantly pushing me to go, to finally make up my mind to come. I think I'll go now though. I shouldn't leave Jack on his own for too long, last time I did that he drank a whole lot of gross caffeinated coffee, while he really shouldn't drink that now. Sometimes he's such a child. " A chuckle escaped his mouth while the silent tears flowed down his cheeks. He kept silent while he watched Jack pacing around the trees, mobile still in hand but not calling anymore. He was probably texting Gwen about something.

"I love you. I'll be back next week with some new stories, I promise. I really have to go now." He brought his hand - which had been leaning on the stone - to his mouth and kissed the tips of his fingers, thereafter he brought them towards the gravestone, placing them just next to his name. 

"You'll always be right here." He whispered and his free hand went to his heart. Soon after he stood up straighter - he'd forgo his suit this time and decided to just go in a pair of jeans and a dress shirt - and stretched his long legs. With a last lungful look, he watched the grave and marched towards the trees. Some silent tears were falling down his eyes as he finally made his way to Jack. When he reached the older man, he looked up and put his mobile back in his pocket.

"Are you ready?" Jack asked. He nodded and took Jack's hand in his. Together they walked back to the car, but his thoughts were a million miles away.

\--0O0--

Owen had ordered Jack to stay out of the field as soon as it was known that he was pregnant. Even before the rest of the team knew or Ianto had come to terms with it. It was simply too dangerous. If Jack died, then so would the baby. Doctors orders. So jack sulked and stayed in every time the rest of the team went into the field. The fun thing had been - although very inconvenient - seeing Jack and Gwen pregnant at the same time. Not long after they had come clean to Tosh and Gwen about Jack’s pregnancy, Gwen had announced her second pregnancy, once again it had been an accident, or so she said. As she'd claimed after the birth of Anwen, that she would never again get pregnant. But now Anwen would get a sibling, which cheered Anwen and her parents up like a lightbulb lighted up in the night.

Two of them out of the field meant that they had to accomplish more along the three of them, but things got especially busy when Ianto almost died in the field. Something had happened, he had no idea why. Yet again, Ianto should've died, but he'd survived anyway. Jack was extremely glad he had, as he really wouldn't have been able to do this without him.

But he knew something was wrong, something had happened to his lover, but Ianto being Ianto didn’t want to tell him.

Even though Jack was supposed to stay out of the field, he didn't always follow the rules Owen had laid upon him. Multiple times Ianto had woken up in an empty and cold bed in the middle of the night only to find out later that Jack had been brooding on a rooftop or chasing a weevil. Too many times he'd argued with his immortal partner that every time he did something like that it could endanger their daughter. 5 months in, Owen has found out that their child was to be a woman. Or as Owen liked to call her, the heartbreaker. As he was convinced their daughter was going to break many hearts in her life if she looked anything like the pair of them. It was meant to be a compliment, he knew that. But it was said in such a way that it looked like the Brit was trying to provoke a reaction from him. Like sheer panic. 

Through all those months, he couldn't say Jack had changed much. Yes, sometimes he was a bit more emotional, like during valentine's Day when he found him sitting in front of the television crying because of a commercial. But all in all, Jack was just Jack. His waistline had changed and most of his clothes had to be altered, but in his eyes, Jack Harkness kept being his badass self. Somehow they knew what to do, somehow it worked. They'd started turning the spare room into a baby room in their free time. The yellow walls had been a compromise between them, Jack had wanted to paint the walls a bright orange or a disgusting looking kind of pink. So naturally, they'd have to close a few more compromises. The closer they came to the due date, the more Jack had started hurdling. He started collecting little things like stuffed animals and baby blankets. A cot had been set up in his office for when they had to work and they bought double the amount of the stuff they actually needed. Half of it was going to be kept at the hub, the other at their home so they wouldn't have to drag everything around every day. They even - after a little pressure of Gwen - made Rhys agree to look after their girl once a week. Ianto doubted if it would go right with soon to be two kids of his own to look after. Tosh and Owen had become the cool aunt and uncle or so they decided. After Owen's death, the dead man had become rather close with his best friend. Tosh, who had been crushing on Owen so badly ever since they met, finally found her man. A few months after Cardiff had been blown up because Gray wanted revenge, Owen and Tosh decided to finally go on that date. A quiet dinner - even though Owen couldn't eat anymore - at Tosh's house had happened and things escalated from thereon. To Tosh, it didn't matter that Owen was dead, that he couldn't do certain things that other men could. She loved him too much to care. 

Sometimes he'd asked her why, but she never really answered him. The fun thing had been walking in on them. Everyone had left to go home and Owen and Tosh had suggested they take the night shift. That night he'd forgotten his wallet in Jack's office after a particular steamy round of sex. So he went back and found them making out on Tosh's desk. It had been all he could do to not slap Owen as hard as he could. Tosh felt like a sister to him, so to him, it felt only natural to want to defend her. In the end, it hadn't been him who broke up their heated kissing. Gwen had walked in behind him, claiming to have left her keys - this time around she was always forgetting something during her pregnancy. It had been fun watching their faces, he didn't even know Owen could blush. Finally, it hadn't been him and Jack who had been caught.


	5. Chapter 5

A very lush scent invaded their nostrils, which could only mean one thing. Ianto was making coffee. And he wasn't going to get any. Well, at least not the good stuff. Ever since his pregnancy he'd been damned to getting decaf, at least he wasn't the only one he always reckoned as Gwen had been stuck with it for months now too. He'd been feeling rather queasy all day, which of course did nothing to make his mood any better. It felt more like the opposite, the more minutes ticked by, the more his mood altered.

" To hell with the baby, I want coffee! I want to see my feet, I want a back that doesn't hurt and I want sex!" He said while rubbing his protruding belly. He could feel a furious kick against his hand of the little lady. One day she was going to kick him blue, he just knew it. 

‘’And you little lady, you need to stop kicking!’’ He knew the others would've heard his little tantrum as his door was open and two sets of doe eyes were watching him questionably. Ianto came walking in, a face of steel, with his favourite mug. The hot liquid was steaming in its cup and he could just taste the decaf without even bringing the cup to his mouth.

Ever since he found out he'd become very adamant about his coffee. But no matter what he tried, not even some mind-blowing sex, helped him receiving some of Ianto’s coffee magic. Every time he tried it for himself some weird tasting liquid - that didn’t earn the name coffee - came out which made him regret his decision as soon as he took the first sip.

"How are you feeling?" Ianto asked him. His face was the picture of worry. He knew that Ianto was really worried about their child being stillborn. He himself was fearing it too. But not as bad as Ianto did.

"I've been better." He told him as he sat down in his chair, he'd been pacing the room only minutes ago.

"What's going on?" Ianto asked him, concerned about everything in life. Ianto - as none of them had expected - had gone into full Tad mode. He'd childproofed the house and was constantly telling them facts about kids and childbirth. How he knew all of those things, he had no idea. As he'd never seen the younger man with a pregnancy book in his life.

"It's just my back, it's killing me. And I mean more like normal. It's like a stabbing pain in my lower back." He explained to his partner. Throughout it all Ianto had always been his solid rock, trying to help him with whatever he could. He always tried to make sure he was alright - sometimes he could be quite smothering, but he didn't really care about that - although not always in a nice way. Sometimes, with enough lack of sleep and too much stress Ianto Jones could turn into a devil.

"Why don't you just go lie down? Hmm? You should be resting, you know that. " It was the last month of his pregnancy but he was getting antsy as hell. All he wanted was to get this kid out and be able to actually work right now.

"No, because all I've been doing these days is lying on the couch while you get to enjoy all the fun." Ianto sighed as he gave up for the day, sometimes he really didn't want to deal with a hormonal Jack.

"You know it's my birthday right? You could at least try to be a little bit nicer." Ianto mumbled under his breath, not daring to voice his thoughts any louder.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling well okay, I'll rest a bit and then we'll go do something fun together." Ianto nodded and with the excuse of lots of paperwork made his way out of the office.

During the day the pain kept getting worse. There was one moment in particular that caught his attention. He'd been in the middle of a phone call with Martha - he hadn't yet told her the truth - when a particularly strong pain hit him. He wanted to cry out, he nearly did but kept himself from opening his mouth while he was desperately clenching his teeth. He could taste blood - from where he’d bitten down hard on his cheek - and only then he noticed that he’d done it. 

"Martha, I'm going to have to hang up, emergency. I'll speak to you later." He exclaimed through the phone before quickly snapping it shut. Something was wrong, he could feel it. He just hoped Ianto wasn't anywhere nearby, he didn't want to worry him for nothing. But he really needed to get Owen's attention, like right now. A quick peek through the blinds told him that they all went away, except Tosh, who was furiously typing away on her computer. She was muttering something through her earpiece when he walked into the main part of the hub.

"Where's everyone gone?" He asked, rubbing the spot where he'd just been kicked in the ribs. The pain had elevated for now, but if it really was a contraction, he was sure to have another one pretty soon. And if the contractions had really started then Owen had to get here fast. There couldn't be too much time between the start and the middle. He couldn't dilate, so he had to be cut open to get the baby out. It was that or die. Both ways didn't look very pleasing but he'd rather die while he was cut open than with the baby still inside him.

" Gwen's gone home and Ianto and Owen are in Splott. Weevil sightings. " Toshiko exclaimed as she was frantically looking something up on the computer, it seemed like she was in contact with the boys as her earpiece was firmly put into her ear.

"Shhiiiiiitttt" popped out of his mouth when he was surprised with one of those severe contractions. Tosh spun around in her seat immediately and watched him in horror.

"Jack, what's going on?" She asked, scared that something was wrong. She'd seen how Gwen - who hadn't listened about taking the last month off the first time around - had started having contractions at the hub too. She'd kept it a secret until she could no longer hide the pain she was feeling. Rhys had to come to pick her up immediately as she'd refused to give birth at the hub. She refused to let Owen deliver baby Anwen.

He breathed through the aftermath, the contraction had once again left but the pain was getting worse.

" Am I thinking right into thinking you're in labour? Jack! You need to tell me." Tosh began to panic, she'd left whatever she'd been doing on her computer, stood up and helped him into her chair.

"Owen, Ianto, leave the weevils, get back here as soon as you can." She said talking into her earpiece. He could hear them asking what was going on, but she'd already taken her earpiece off and given all her attention to him.

"Alright, what do I need to do? Is there something I can help with?" She said while she was anxiously pacing the space in front of him. 

"I need Owen, he knows exactly what to do, fuck fuck fuck.. I need painkillers and soon. Tell them to hurry up." So Tosh did, she had no idea which painkillers he needed, had no idea what she could do except getting Jack through his contractions. She held his hand and massaged his back while the others came in. They both looked rather confused at first, but Owen was the first to come to action as he obviously knew what was happening. Ianto just stood there, a few metres away from Jack. Shock consumed his body as he watched Jack's pain-ridden body.

"Alright mate, how long have these contractions been going on? " Owen asked him. He watched the dead man as he helped him up and slowly walked with him towards the medbay. 

" Ianto?" Tosh asked when she watched the two men leaving. But Ianto still stood there, rooted in his spot. His eyes never left the two men until he couldn't see them anymore.

" Ianto are you okay? Shouldn't you go with Jack?" She asked him and pinched his shoulder to get his attention. His face spun around towards her. She could read the panic in his eyes.

"Oh my, come here." She engulfed him into a hug. He could feel his trembling body while she held him. Something was off, this wasn't just about Jack. There was more going on in that thick skull of his.

" Jack… he isn't.. he isn't supposed to be giving birth. He… still has three weeks to go." Ianto started to say, three weeks too early was not uncommon, women sometimes delivered far before that and got premature babies and even they survived. So why would Ianto be so scared about three weeks?

‘’Damn it, Jack!’’ Owen’s cry pierced through the air and a clatter could be heard.

"Ianto? Tosh? A little help here! NOW!" Owen yelled from downstairs. They looked up, Tosh was the first to get down, Ianto, still as scared as before, was slowly following her. The sight she was met with, was the thing of nightmares. On the table was Jack, his eyes had turned white and Owen was desperately trying to keep his body still. He lay on his side, so as not to swallow his tongue. 

" I need someone to keep him still and prevent him from swallowing his tongue. I need to get this kid out immediately before it starts to get worse." He yelled. Tosh immediately sprang to action and took over Owen's task. Owen, now with his free hands, started to race through the medbay and collect all sorts of things. 

" Where's that fucking scalpel?" Owen cursed while he was rummaging through some drawers full of sterile equipment. Tosh always the calmness itself when needed, pointed towards where Owen had put the scalpel down only seconds before.

Scalpels and towels were the first things Ianto noticed.

"What's going on?" He asked afraid of knowing the truth.

"Preeclampsia. Or well, now eclampsia." Owen just said, he put something on Jack's belly and started to draw a line. He stabbed a syringe in Jack’s leg and went on.

‘’Did he ever talk to you about severe headaches, dizziness or something else?’’ Owen asked him hurriedly while he put gloves on and began to prepare himself for the make-shift surgery.

‘’He was talking about some severe headaches yes, for about a week now.’’ He said after a quick thought.

‘’Shit.’’

"Okay Jack, if you can hear me, you're not going to like it. But deal with it, it's for her safety." Owen quickly told his captain and took the scalpel in hand, slowly he began to cut through Jack’s soft skin. 

It was only a matter of seconds before he saw the insides of his lover. All the blood and organs made him think about the cannibals again, but there was no time to panic right now. The scalpel pierced through the sac and some kind of fluids splashed out. Within no time, Owen handed over the scalpel to Tosh - who in her turn laid it down - and raised a baby out of Jack’s torn up body. 

‘’Oi, Ianto!’’ He said like he was talking to a dog. Even though it was quite rude he still came and was handed a baby girl. He held the girl in his arms, he didn’t care about his suit anymore, as he watched the enchanting face of his child. Owen put a clamp on the umbilical cord as close to her belly as possible and cut it through. The only thing that made him panic was how quiet she was. No cry.

‘’Shit.’’ Quickly he put his finger between his child’s lips, trying to open up her airway. Trying to make her scream. Panic attacked him with the memory of years ago. He was so afraid he would lose yet another child.

‘’Not again! not again not again not again.’’ He began to chant. Her little face began to get a blue tint.

‘’OWEN! SHE'S GETTING BLUE’’ he screamed. Owen, who had been trying to do something for Jack, turned around in shock and grabbed the baby out of his arms.

‘’FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!’’ He yelled and began to suction fluids out of her mouth and nose. When eventually a loud piercing cry went through the air, he could finally take a breath. They all let out a sigh of relief at her sharp cry. Owen - having totally not been prepared for this today - got a clean towel from somewhere in the cupboard and began to rub all the blood and the waxy, cheese-like goo - that was currently all over his suit jacket - off.

‘’Okay, take a deep breath, Ianto. Everything’s going to be alright!’’ Tosh said from next to Jack. She was still holding him, but his epileptic attack had already subsided. There was nothing left but a slumped, lifeless body. It looked like Jack had died there, his body lay too still. 

‘’Okay, Ianto, take her. I’ll make sure she’s okay after I'm done with Jack. She’s going to be fine, some babies are born like that.’’ Owen told him not very convincingly. He knew it was the truth, but he couldn’t help but freak out about it. For a moment he believed that he would lose her too. He handed the crying baby over to him with a look that said: Deal with it! and returned once again to attend Jack's lifeless body. Her eyes were open and somehow staring into his soul, even though he knew that the first few days babies were actually - almost - blind. Her grey eyes were twinkling while her crying subsided a little. Like he’d seen his sister do, he started to hold her close to his body and began to rock her through the room. Soon her cries stopped completely and for a second he had to check if she was actually still alive. But her eyes were still staring at the nothingness above her. A smile splayed across his face when he watched her. Their daughter. A tuft of light brown - matted with some goo like substance - hair sprang up on her head.

He watched Jack - now properly knitted back together - lying still on the bed. He could still see the stitches Owen had made but he could also see that Jack's skin had already knitted itself back together. The constant drip of the water tower rang through the air while they waited with bated breath for Jack to come back alive.

Tosh - when she hadn't been needed anymore - went out of the medbay, he didn't know where to. The only thing he knew was that a chair had been set up next to Jack's - now covered up - lifeless body and he'd automatically sat down. A little hand slapped against his chest as he took Jack's hand in his free one. He felt so…. Happy. For once he felt like he could do this. Like he could actually protect his little girl from all the horrors in life.

Jack took a big gasp of air when he woke up and in a flash, he was sitting upright.

"Great, you're awake," Owen exclaimed when he heard the intake of breath.

"Tosh! Come on!" He yelled to Tosh, who was somewhere in the hub. Owen started to check out Jack while they waited for Tosh's return but quickly came to the conclusion that Jack was perfectly fine. When she returned, all smiling, she was carrying all kinds of things. Mostly it was just baby clothes and a tub.

"Distract them while I take a look at the kid." He told Tosh and tried to pry the silent - but breathing - baby out of his arms. With reluctance, he gave their daughter to Owen. He stayed where he could see them.

" I'm not a baby doctor for god's sake." He'd groaned under his breath before he frantically began to look after the -now - squealing and kicking kid.


	6. Chapter 6

Carys Rosaline Harkness-Jones - yes, he'd insisted on a Welsh name - was born on the 19th of August at 14.02.

The birth of their little bundle of joy was the best gift he could’ve asked for.

With exactly five pounds and 9 ounces - perfect weight Owen had declared. She was rather small compared to other newborns, but nothing to be worried about the dead man had proclaimed. Her pink face was currently looking up at him. Her head was covered in a little pink hat and she was wearing her Welsh onesie. It was exactly one week after her birth. Jack had tried to get in the field again as soon as a new day had arisen. They'd called Gwen as soon as everything had quietened down and back to their version of normal. His panic had subsided when Owen declared that everything was okay. Somehow the rift had behaved and a quiet, almost serene week had happened. Those days they'd enjoyed their new lifestyle at home, all of their friends had forbidden them to go into the hub for even a second. It had been fun though, sleep-deprived, but fun. Watching Jack change her diaper. Looking as he carefully laid her in his arms and gave her a bottle. Seeing him standing up in the middle of the night when she was screaming her head off. But all of it was worth it as he watched her restless body lying in the buggy, watching the sky above her. Her tiny hands tried to grab something nonexisting.

In the short time that she had been in this world he had already been stopped by many women who wanted to see the cute, little baby in the buggy. The first day, an elderly woman had stopped him in the supermarket, completely by surprise. Many more had dared to accomplish this task and he'd been too afraid at first to tell them - when they asked - that his partner was actually a man. No matter how many times he'd already been spotted with Jack - quite amorously - none of them had known, or so they claimed. Somehow the women had stayed away when it was the three of them taking a walk in the park. He didn't know why exactly, but he was glad they did. The worst thing about the first day had been that he would constantly check up on her, trying to see if she really was fine. If she didn’t die while he wasn’t watching. Jack had been, well, Jack and had helped him through that difficult time.

Now, a week later, he had finally gathered up the courage to do what he'd been imagining he would do for months. He was taking Carys to meet her brother. She was still too young to understand what was going on in the world around her, but he wanted to do this before it was too late. It was a quiet day, there weren't many people, which meant some much-needed privacy was provided. When they eventually reached his little boy's grave, it felt oddly calming. It was like something had lifted and he could finally talk and think about him without the fear of having a breakdown. Carefully he lifted his daughter out of the buggy after he'd secured it - so it wouldn't roll away. It was an oddly warm day for Wales so he didn't have to take care of warm clothes. With her, in his arms, he sat down on the edge of the grave.

"Hi Gareth, it's me again. So many things have changed since last week. This is Carys. She's your little sister. I would've loved it so much for the two of you to have grown up together, she would've adored you. I know you would've adored her. I might be a bit prejudiced but she's really beautiful. Probably Jack's good genes. I just wanted you to meet her. At least as best as you can. Have you seen Jack? I hoped you'd meet him last week. He died as you might've known. " Carys cry pierced through the air as a fly flew on her face. The fly - scared out its wits - flew away as soon as possible. He tried to suss her a bit, rocking her to the left and right while he talked to his son.

" Alas, this is also one of the things we have to deal with. It's only been a week but we're quite convinced she's a cry baby. As you've obviously seen, she has been quite close to death too. Her blue face is still etched on my retina. I was so afraid that she would join you. At least if it happened I'd known you would've taken care of her. But luckily that didn't happen. My birthday has been quite a bumpy ride, don't get me wrong, I'm really glad she’s finally born. But in a few minutes, I came so close to losing the most precious people I have in my life right now. If Jack hadn't come back if she hadn't survived. I don't know what I would've done. Losing you, well, as you know it hasn't been easy. Time hasn't yet healed all the wounds. And I'm not sure they ever will. The pain is a memory of how things could’ve been. But even though I miss you, so much. I know that I have to go on with my life, if only it’s for her.’’ He could hear the crushing of the gravel and when he looked up he saw her walking towards them. A few days ago he’d called Nina to ask her if she would want to go to the graveyard with him. Go to their son as the couple they once were. He sat up from the ground and watched as Nina pushed the stroller with two-year-old Patrick. When she finally reached them she put the stroller down - secured it - and watched how she got her son out of the stroller and lifted him into her arms. 

‘’Oof, you know you’re quite heavy don’t you.’’ The boy stayed silent and watched the space around him.

‘’Hi, It’s been a while.’’ She said as a greeting.

‘’So who’s this?’’ 

‘’This is Carys, my daughter.’’ He exclaimed and stepped closer to her to show her. By this time Carys had already stopped fussing and her eyes were slowly drooping.

‘’She’s beautiful. So where’s your partner? I would’ve thought that… Jack wasn't it? Would’ve come with you.’’ Her eyes stared at the gravestone, but he could see that her mind was actually a million miles away.

‘’He thought it would be better to stay home. Just the.. four us, you know.’’ He told her while he slowly rocked Carys to sleep. Her tiny thumb had edged itself into her mouth and while she slept she looked just like an angel. He could watch her for hours just seeing her sleep.

‘’Fatherhood soothes you, you know.’’ He heard her say, he looked up and saw her smile. It only just dawned on him that an almost equal smile was etched on his.

‘’I think I never quit being a Tad. Deep down at least.’’ He told her.

‘’I haven’t been here for quite a while you know. I’m always so busy. But I like this, like us doing this with our kids. Sometimes I really miss you Ianto. But then again, I was the one who destroyed us. Our lives could’ve been so different.’’ She took a step further towards the stone and eventually laid her free hand on the top of it. She closed her eyes as she remembered all the good and bad things.

‘’I haven’t told anyone yet, so please don’t tell anyone. I’m pregnant, again. But I’m scared, just like last time. The fear never really leaves you right?’’

‘’Congratulations. Maybe one day, there will come a day when everything gets better. But that day is not today. It all still feels so fresh, I remember it like it was yesterday.’’ He told her as he joined her at her side.

‘’Yeah.’’

\--0O0--

A few hours later, after he’d said goodbye to Nina and Patrick, he went home only to find Jack quietly snoozing away. The man who claimed not to need much sleep had been taking every opportunity he could get this week to get a wink of sleep. He couldn’t help it, as he took Carys out of her buggy he lay the wide-awake baby on Jack’s chest. Tummy time! He took off his own clothes and joined Jack in bed holding Carys securely against the older man’s chest. 

‘’hmmmmmm’’ Jack moaned and opened one eye.

‘’Hey.’’ He said and kissed Jack’s cheek.

‘’You’re back.’’ His own arm crossed over Carys as she lifted her head and looked at them both. He booped her little cute nose with his free hand after he’d made sure she wouldn’t fall off.

‘’How was it?’’

‘’It was good. Some things are better left unspoken, but I think we really needed this. It gave us a bit of closure. I’ll never be able to forget him, but the way things ended with us, well, as you know it wasn’t very good.’’ he exclaimed, he wanted to turn around, grab his mobile or camera and snap a shot of the beautiful picture in front of him. But he couldn't be arsed to move, sometimes it really felt good to do some domestic things. But he wouldn’t trade his new life for the world. Torchwood, Jack and Carys, they were his everything. 

‘’Good.’’ Carys had lain her head back down on Jack’s chest and began wiggling in their arms. A smile splayed across his lips as he watched his favourite people play together.

A phone rang through the air and they both looked up. Jack answered his phone - after they found out who’s phone was ringing.

‘’Yes Tosh?’’ he answered the phone, completely by surprise.

‘’Okay, yes, I’ll tell him.’’ Then he hung up.

‘’They need us. Come on.’’ Jack said as he carefully sat up and lay Carys down in her crib so he could put on some clothes.

‘’How could I have thought we would have a free week?’’ Ianto said laughing and began to get clothed again.

‘’But you wouldn’t have it any other way.’’ And that, he wouldn’t. Because he had the best of both worlds. He had Torchwood and a daughter. He had a thrilling work life and a domestic family.

He had Jack, for an eternity and could see their daughter grow old without having to fear dying on her first. 

The only thing he still needed to do was tell Jack about his startling recent discovery.

Sometimes immortal life could be a curse, but sometimes - when you found the right person - it was a blessing.


End file.
